Alan was groggy the next morning and felt like garbage that’s why they don’t like to sleep and when they do they have nightmares about their worst nightmares or worse their death or their friends death or dreams that are so good that never want to make them wake up they look in their bathroom mirror their reflection coming to pass and they looked again rubbing their eye and then they saw it them as a child and their father beating them in a drunken state alan was scared hyperventilating and then they punched the mirror until the reflection left the mirror but they broke the mirror making their fist bleed the blood drips down into a dark puddle in the bowl of the sink alan looked at their bleeding fist their hand shaking and they felt sick to their stomach alan then shakes their head fiercely and their body feels like static and a barb wire strung  through their entire body they look in the broken mirror and they see a memory of the only good moment in their childhood when they had one friend that person was their only saving grace their home their escape alan felt their eye fill with tears the pain of their bleeding fist bringing them back alan pushes all the thoughts into the back of their mind and they wrap up their fist carefully inspecting it to make sure no blood will leak out as they got dressed for the day they felt sadness in their heart like a heavy weight they look back at the broken mirror and they glare at it and they punch themself in the arm till they stop feeling angry and they leave the room with a feeling of regret and heart ache and they look at their fist the blood seeping through the bandages and they shed a tear they grabbed a bottle from their pocket it had a label that said “Drug pharmacy Alan Jayson Booker prozac from Happyland” and grabbed a pill from the bottle and swallowed one slamming a cup of water to swallow the pill and they hold themself like holding a child